Depression: Serving for one.

 

These holidays will be the longest, most draining timeframe i’ve had in quite some time. To start off, we have a heart-break I suffer through every year: summer tv. It is in late november that all the good television shows come to a halt, taking my heart along with them. It may be unknown for some, but my lfe, whether you approve or not, it run by it. It gives me a centre, to keep my life balanced, it brings me great comfort where reality wounds me and its always there, when nobody else is. And it is at this point in the year, that all the good television shows come to an end “summer tv” kicks in. just thinking it sends a shiver down my spine … a bad shiver.

My friends, the most important people in my life, are all changing and growing up. Given, this is not necessarily a bad thing, but the problem is everyones changing in different directions. And recently proven, our bond is not as strong as we once believed it to be, as a single event or a single person can take a friend away. This added to the growing up and slowly drifting of the group, scares the hell outta me. With 5-6 weeks of no compulsory meetings, the rift we all pretend isnt there will only grow in size and power. These holidays could wreak unimaginable havoc.

And then, the other important aspect of my life, is flying millions of kilometres away. I know he has to do this, and of course i want him to have fun, but i’m going to miss him terribly. 5 weeks without a re-assuring hug, slow kiss or loving touch, as well as the randomness only he can provide. Given, he can be a dickhead, but he’s my dickhead and those weeks are going to be practically unbearable.

So yes, the three most important aspects of my lif (not necessatily in that order) are all being warped into a giant torture – designed to mess with me. World:1  Susan:0 .