Crisis of faith already?

August 7, 2008

Do you ever get the feeling that time is moving forward but you’re stuck in a state of confusion? I still care about life and about friends but i no longer see a purpose in studies or the future. I just can’t see the point of it all or where it ends.

I’m the type of girl that second third fourth fifth guesses everything she does. I continually doubt my decisions and am never proud of myself. Having a public blog is weird for me. I internalise everything. I guess the way it works in my head is that if i don’t verbalise the problem, it doesn’t exist.

Due to the fact that i never trust myself, i don’t even trust my thoughts. I just assume i’m overreacting. I’m highly influenced by PMS. When it’s the week before that time of the month, i snap at random moments at whoevers around, usually for no good reason [how do people put up with me?].

I just finished my fitness testing assignment – damn i’m bad at running. Well you can’t exactly blame me. Running for me is really painful. I swear guys have it easy! They don’t have two things popping out of nowhere, going up and down as they run. They NEVER have to deal with periods or chidbirth. We apparently have “gender equality” but we all know that women are still looked down upon. The worst thing they have to put up with is waking up to find they’ve had a wet dream, and their worst thing is something they probably ENJOYED!

DOUBTING my future, DOUBTING my gender, DOUBTING my decisions.


2 Responses to “Crisis of faith already?”

  1. MANDY Says:

    aww… confusion sucks =(

  2. superficial cynic Says:

    how can u have a crisis of faith when u dont even believe in faith. in our minds especially urs we would all like to think that we are gods except for those dam monks and gay priests who touch little children.

    something more philosophical. problems only exist if u see them as an inconvenience within your life. something that will mess with the natural order that u are use to. problems dont need to be verbalised to be exist.

    p.s. without the PMS i wouldnt have anyone or anything to laugh at

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