Lines that piss me off

Have you ever noticed that sometimes there are lines so stupid you can’t believe the person said it. It’s either stating the oh so obvious or asking an extremely pointless question.

Susan: You lied to me
Thy: How?

How the fuck do you think?! You opened your mouth, and made a statement you knew to be false. What a stupid question. Thats like asking “How do you call somone?” You push the call button and dial the fucking number.

You know what else i hate? When people say “It’s always in the last place you look”. OF COURSE IT IS! Why the hell would i keep looking for something after i found it? I mean come on, it’s just common sense.

“You can’t have your cake and eat it too”. Why the fudge would i want the cake if i can’t eat it? Seriously, can you think of a more pathetic analogy?

Wow, i never realised so many lines annoyed me, Oh, and when people say “Can i ask you a question?” Too late now, isn’t it?

When you’re standing at a bus stop, waiting for a bus, do people think you just like standing there? I mean, who’s stupid enough to ask “Has the bus come yet?”. Yeah it came, and i watched it go floating by and now im standing here for the hell of it. Seriously, have you met Tina Phan?

And what about when people say it was a near miss? Come on, if it was near a miss, surely its a hit. Why go to all that extra effort? Thats like saying “At this point in time”. I’d like to introduce you to a little word called ‘now’.

If you know you have a tendency to say such stupid things, keep your goddamn mouth shut!